Finding the chase and cutting to it

I’ve been working my way through an article in the Observer (20th April 2025) about boarding school following an announcement by my friend on her journey through life the past couple of years, and both resonnanted as both my parents went through at bording school.

My mum’s experience was very different to my dad’s. Mum went to the same school as her brothers, and, to some extent, it was an escape from a choatic family life – my gran was very disorganised and a bit of a hoarder. Mum was 11 when she left home, and it was a co-ed school with some day pupils as it was a grammer school. Her fees for boarding were paid by the RAF, as my grandfather was serving abroad when my mum was of school age.

My dad was the only son and went to a private boys school as he had failed the eleven plus. My dad was a late bloomer, not least as he was very asthmatic. Every holiday he was the stranger in the house, and school was alien and cold – I suspect in his younger years at school he was bullied. It wasn’t just the children who bullied you and at boarding school, there is no respite, no break, it’s 24-7. Every year he wrote to be allowed to come home and study in the local school and it wasn’t until 6th form that his request was granted.

One thing this shared experience meant was that neither of my parents had really experienced home life. My mum was determined we didn’t hoard like her mum did, but I think my dad never got over the experiences. There wasn’t the money at the time, but my parents would not consider boarding school for either me or my kid brother. As a grown-up, I am very grateful for that, and the traditions my parents set up for us – they had a relatively clean slate, after all.

One of the ones I remember was a ham at easter time. I did this for my family today – a honey roast ham, roasted carrots, baby corn, pak choi, baby cauliflower, and potatoes. I served it with a onion roux sauce and rosé wine.

It feels like a priviledge to be able to do that without a thought.